∞

city of sleeping hearts

2012-02-09T00:04:00.000+08:00

Spring Awakening.

"please", she says, "tell me what you're thinking."

2012-02-05T20:56:00.001+08:00

It's an absurd request.

Our minds, unedited by guilt or shame, are selfish and unkind, and the majority of our thoughts, at any given time, are not meant for public consumption, because they would either be hurtful or else just make us look like the selfish and unkind bastards we are. We don't share our thoughts, we share carefully sanitized, watered-down versions of them, Hollywood adaptions of those thoughts dumbed down for the PG13 crowd.

in for the kill

2012-02-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

1am scenery from my previous workplace. Closing shift during cny's eve rocks cause there was live fireworks + i was temporary transferred to stall3, it was a relief to have both A & KJ nonsense to entertain me for the 3hours or so otherwise i would have spent my time working my ass off at stall1. Yeeer so not the thing you would like to do on a pretty newyear eve.

The night where ZN and I went to crash 987fm studio.

wall full of polaroids. we are the people.

2012-02-01T21:17:00.001+08:00

Remember to breathe.

This feeling will pass, your fears will disappear and the pain will fade.

Just remember to breathe.

all the things that make you lighter

2012-01-24T19:52:00.001+08:00

xoxo ♥♥

2012-01-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

This is why she conversed with the stars : Any answers they gave were already dust.

guarded heart, thicker walls

2012-01-16T20:04:00.000+08:00

Good food over the weekend @ NYNY.

Really can't be bothered with long paragraphs anymore.

a teenage vow in a parking lot; 'til tonight do us part.

2012-01-13T20:36:00.001+08:00

Prelude to a horrible friday the thirteenth. The series of unfortunate events that took place today was definitely a record. I was only 15minutes away from the deadline to submit my jae + spent 6hours solely on traveling + realized how much i miss greendale.

On a brighter note, meet the most adorable two year old : ^^

♥♥♥♥♥

2012-01-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

Love; a single word, a wispy thing, a word no bigger or longer than an edge.Thats what it is: an edge, a razor. It draws up through the center of your life, cutting everything into two.Before and after. The rest of the world falls away on either side. Before and after -- and during, a moment no bigger or longer than an edge.

2011 out.

2012-01-03T15:31:00.001+08:00

2011 isn't what i'd call a great year, but i did finally turn 16.

highlights:

1) started drinking caffeine
2) discovered indie & fell in love with it ever since
3) supposedly dyed my hair red
4) finished Os
5) got a job and quited after five days
6) tonned for the first time without falling asleep halfway
7) fork out money and caught my first theatre drama @ victoria street
8) abstained from stickys
9) got my allowance raised
10) done with orchestra
11) had A2 for my MT and cried about it at hall lol
12) changed my mindset about certain things
13) had my phone stolen
14) ridiculously gotten close to primary school friends (those whom i have lost contact with for a veryveryvery longgggg time)
15) stopped failing math & science
16) wore contacts again even though i vowed not to touch those after 2010
17) opened my bank account
18) slept over at someone else's place
19) still haven't gotten my dslr
20) didn't get my heart broken. although malice level still as high.

Bring me the horizon.

2011-12-30T03:12:00.004+08:00

- xmas eve mornings.

Yogurt @ -18degrees wasn't as good as frolick's or sogurt's, what a let down. :(

Caught MI:IV at 112Katong recently, and must i say it was da bombxzzzxz/ sex. I love action movies \m/ and speaking of 112Katong, i have this insane urge to go work at TGIF because of their classy atmosphere in there lol.

Meet up with bestf yesterday to watch Sherlock. Technically, we lost contact for about 2years of our lives and somehow by some twist of fate, we became goddamn close again. :> I think im able to write a two thousand page history textbook just stating what we've been thru' together la.

On a random note, did tons of walking with her yesterday:
1) walked around dbg to find BMC international college & YMCA for her to enroll in.
2) traveled to tanah merah and walked a whole round around expo (do ya know how big that thing is!!?) because we're lost & trying to wing our way to ITE college central.
3) mini-tour the whole campus (tt place so frigging nice sia, got indoor swimming pool as well lol)
4) ITE > changi city mall > PP to get her nicotine fix

Will be @ PageOne tmr with zz for prolly the last novel spree & awfully chocolate & me trying to find perhaps the perfect outfit before countdown. :) Goodnightttt.

Visual diary.

2011-12-27T03:00:00.000+08:00

If i could tell the story in words, i wouldnt need to lug around a camera.

The past week've been pretty eventful i guess.

labbit looking dashing as usual :))

Thats taken on the day when we went for buffet at Suki Sushi (its on a tuesday i fink..?), been too long since i've had any decent salmon. The salmon at ikea are crap.

For the next few days: had my cookies baked @ JY's place, its sort of an impromptu decision cause the other person who promised, didn't keep their promise and i would not settle for anything that's in between (all or nothing k) + last minute christmas gift shopping + tons of meet ups w/ people i haven't met in eons, good day like em good ol' times~ cuz we're kickin' it old school~

D&C hangin' by my bedside~

Eve of Chirstmas eve : Caught Alvin & the chipmunks 3. It was okayyyyy? I mean, after two movies I guess auto-tuned animated chipmunks get a lil dry. Spent the time stoning at The Coffee Bean taking pictures.

Ngieng as hitler. (Lol thank heavens she doesn't come here.)

On friday night, finally caught up with some old fogeys at das's christmas party. I dont mean decades old, i meant age old. Hahaha all young at heart, just like me. Miss them tons, but i ended up stuffing myself with food in the kitchen cause i don't excel at small talks. Or social gathering. I must say dinner is splendid.

Spent my christmas eve at nicole's bbq. Don't really know how to describe the situation because im a quarter dead and three quarters on high that night. All we really did is to eat non-stop. I mean, what else should you do when people are barberquening food for you right!!? I remember i was about to type a post then but stopped cause i realized they're roasting a new batch of chicx wings haha.

Oh and i got to bond a lot with this cute lil' fellow that night when i was sleeping over at her's.

Chirstmas:

Caught NewYearEve with lianhong. It was so gud/ all things unicorn worthy~ Anw that girl practically saved my life during xmas cause she was the one who ran to get me pain killers after me drinking coffee with an empty stomach.

All in all, it was a great christmas heheee & the rest of the pics are on fb.

5days till the end of 2011. I havent put much thought into the newyear resolutions. But yeah~ i'll figure something out in time.

Love,
V

We go forward.

2011-12-19T19:17:00.001+08:00

IKEA today is going to be the most memorable one out of all the times i've ever been there. ;)

Bullet my weekend:

Went to J's place with siying and we felt damn accomplished because it was our first time walking there without depending on someone else for directions or relying on a cab.
The rest of the day was rwally bo0o0o0o0oring.
Anyway if you wanna know, that one thing i liked about sat tho', was that when they played truth or dare with J's whole bunch of cousins and they asked something regarding our friendship. Answers just come automatically out of her. I was like (in my head) "WAHHHH THANK GOD". I always thought she wouldn't really want to be that close to me anymore after the quarrel (lol come to think of it, i quarrel and argue with almost all of my friends at least once). Anywhoo, I really love J a lot lorrrrr, i can drift from anyone else but not her.
Went to flea @ pomo the next day.
Braved the rain to go scouted for christmas present at bugis junction/ town/ dbg lol kk i was exaggerating a tad bit. The rain only came when we're about to head home.
Damn broke after Sunday.

"Now in the dark world where i dwell, ugly things and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out at me constantly and i can count on nothing."

Freedom (n): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.

2011-12-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

Hi folks.

Im here to update y'all about what i've been up to this entire week only because AHS is loading & 5SOS's Ustream just ended.

Monday: Went for job interview (if im lucky, i'll be able to start work next mon!) + lunch with zenn (Surprisingly, the mac at PP ain't up to standard at all. Def didn't get my money's worth) + dinner at swensens with rach&co.
Tuesday: Had nicole over to study about different courses offered + jersey hunting at town with paige at night. Over a million years passed and now we've finally hung out together. Properly.
Wednesday: Town + steamboat.
Thursday: Chilled at laine's place in the afternoon whilst waiting for our beloved jehmee to break out of school and join us for dinner @ town. Haha ikr i've been going to town a lot a lot to feel the christmas vibes there.
Friday: Headed to yishun in the morning to get whatever laine needed. Made her wait for an hour :( apparently the girl was knitting away the whole time (so ahma heheh).

**On another sidenote, FosterThePeople are coming to singapore in Jan. And im damn sad cause i don't think any of my friends listen to them or are kind enough to go to their concert wimme :(

That's all, i'll be back soon. hehe. Fo now, imma gna prepare and go off to starbucks to catch up with the old fogey.
lovelove!

still life kills

2011-12-10T17:44:00.001+08:00

All our friends, they're laughing at us.
All of those you loved, you mistrust.
Help me, im just not quite myself.
Look around, there's no one else left.

'get busy living, forever is over too soon'

2011-12-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

How has December been for you guys? Mine's pretty alright so far.
A couple of bumps over the month but hopefully things will roll on smoothly with the upcoming months to anticipate! Its 9.42 in the pm now and i am dead bored. I've been scouting for good music to listen and looking up some chalet info for next year. I haven't landed on much yet but it does seem quite appealing to me.

I thought i'd upload pictures from all the sources i could gather. Alongside the pictures, have a listen to these two songs by Foster The People & The Strokes. Can never get enough of 'em.

------------------------------------------------

Just realized i haven't been taking a lot of pics during prom ehhh :( (lol prolly because i was feeling crappy at the first half of it, but still!!)

Hope dec has been rubbing off well for everyone!

cause you came here, from the everlasting.

2011-12-02T15:11:00.001+08:00

I watch the stars from my window sill, the whole world is moving and I’m standing still.
I thought of you and where you’d gone and let the world spin madly on.
And the world spins madly on.

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain.

2011-11-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

Heres a load that i've been wanting to get off my chest. Once and for all, ranting it here and never bringing it up again.

I feel numb. I don't really know why. Its like these days i feel extremely reluctant to talk to you because i don't think i am capable of putting in a hundred percent anymore or continue to treat you like how i did 5months ago? I don't say anything to you because im hoping its all in my head but apparently its here to stay.

I used to enjoy your company; i never had an older sibling, or someone whom i could treat as one (funny cause im the older one betw. us). You were there for me when i was feeling ill and giving in to me whenever we've a tiff and everything because its in my blood to have the desire to win in every arguments. You're even there to keep me grounded when im high on sugar. But somewhere along the line things began to turn awry. Frankly, there's a period of time when being with you scares the fuck out of me. All the over thinking. I know you've troubles with people 'not putting in enough efforts' and all but theres nothing i could do other than putting in efforts on my part? Basically nowadays i feel as though im beginning to shut you out cause im turning lazy to maintain this. I don't exactly tell you my deepest darkest fear, my secrets, my imaginations, my experiences, my troubles like how i used to. I stopped sharing most of them a long long time ago (even if i do open up to certain of them, i find it useless. like i dont want to tell.) And i guess for me to open up everything now without running away is going to be so darn hard that i don't feel like trying. However, if this means that I’ll be able to save this friendship going down the drain then crap, I’ll just leave me vulnerable.

Hope you understand why i have the habit of burning down bridges or going to the extent where sometimes i can't even bother to give a shit. I'll admit it, it still hurts how wrong the entire thing went. For some reason, a lot of my friends think im capable of handling all those nonsense because of the non chalet attitude. Because i almost always feel as though i have no one to turn to cause of my stereotype thinking that most people wouldn't even understand anyway so why bother telling them? Yeahyeah i have major issues with this.

Tell me what i should do?

2011-11-27T14:39:00.001+08:00

Super cute ukelele dude.
Reminds me of some kid who got chided by his mother earlier this week at the theaters cause he asked for "spicy popcorn" instead of the usual sweet or salted.

We all have been degraded. We all will be the greatest.

2011-11-25T21:14:00.001+08:00

Ok i have A LOT of free time on my hands right now, im sure rach would be exceptionally glad to tell you how it annoys her since im camping over at her crib watching series all day & all night~ Can't believe i spent a whole day stuck to my laptop, with eyes glued to the screen.

Lol rach wants me to talk about her, but she's such a mundane subject so forming words, let alone sentences, is going to take up quite a bit of my brain cells. Btw we've made a video of us killing time while waiting for our Mac Delivery. She'll upload it on fb and i guess i'll probably leave the link here in another post. So vulgar every now and then and I didnt mean it when i said fuck you. Dont get touchy, have a nice weekendddd!

PS. Yours truly ♥ AHS. Do go watch that series if you have the time :)

Cross them tight.

2011-11-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

Apple crumble pie from pastamania is da bomb (Y)(Y) :))~~ (fyi this is the retarded drooling face hahaha)

Went to redcamp earlier today, should i just say that people from NP are like auto-high 24/7. And im beginning to have second thoughts about entering poly alr - lol.

[got sidetracked for an hour]

My mood to blog has officially died down. Wish moi sis luck for she's receiving psle results tmr. And theres my chance to enter edgefield again -- for the sake of it.

A pocket full of posies.

2011-11-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

There are mornings when i wake up, i feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and im struck by the fact that i need to get to the hellhole in an hour time. Guess i am not a morning person.

However, that feeling always passes. In fact, its usually completely gone after lunch. Every new minute of every new days seems to vaguely improve. The math does check out; the numbers do add up.

And then there's the bus ride home at night. These rides seems to trigger a lot of thoughts. Probably cause of the ever-changing landscapes. Work is so draining, and it seems to point out the fact that how people are doing something that they have absolutely no passion for. Not even if its buying me the DSLR i am lusting after, not even if i can see the figure in my bank account (finally for once) increasing. Its not because of the physical demands nor the serving of patrons that bothers me. But it is the most meaningless labour that eats into me. Other than the occasional insights, viewing people in general on site and brilliant test of my very own patience, it is completely empty.

And yes, there is a difference between being worn out by passion and being burnt out by monotony.

Pok to the gai.

2011-11-19T02:46:00.000+08:00

Late nights haven't been doing me justice, its funny how i never seem to sleep more than 8 hours SINCE my Os has ended, make no sense ikr!?? Anw if you wanna know, i've started working --- for 2days.

So basically, i have to wake up at ungodly hours of seven in the morning and work like my life depends on it.

Frankly, my current job isn't helping much. It would be a personal conviction to say that i am starting to get tired of christmas songs - lol i thought this day would never come. Thats how horrible things are over there.

So broke so broke right now. Im spending all my money before payday, so i think my bank account is around -300.

Super cuiiiiiiiii due to constant skipping meals & lacking sleep because of my reversed body clock.

I'll most probably end up being fired by the end of this month cos my face tends to auto blank out like .__. after dinner. Brain malfunction and i'll go "huh?" each time kit tries to explain things to me.

One of the perks during work a.k.a the thing i kept raving about, was the ease to get KOI. For the rest of the working days, there was no such thing as traveling a thousand miles just to get my bubble tea fixes. (Y)

My motto for work : Physically here, mentally elsewhere.

Pls dont let me miss my alarm later amenzzzz. I have closing duty (again) tmr.

the moon is cheesecake.

2011-11-13T11:21:00.001+08:00

Expected grades after taking my Os:
chinese -> A2 (not retaking)
english -> B4
math -> B4
science -> C5 (lets just see how the MCQ goes tmrw, altho' i want a B for this - I REALLY NEED IT)
POA -> B4
humanities -> C6 (thats what im hoping to get hahaha)
pure geography -> D or E (frankly i have no clue what happened between geog & i, can you believe i used to get straight aces back when i was in lower sec) T~T

Feel like digging a hole and bury myself inside after setting the expected grades. Well what do you expect from 2weeks worth of mugging? Haha the target grades that @afeeeeeqa set for me before Os seems so far away, and i seriously doubt that would happen. :( (i NEED to get into poly and NOT JUST NURSING COURSE. fyi i would look horrid in polo tees).

So today, supposed to go tampines with my sis & aunt, but apparently sis yelled for me but to no avail, so the both of them decided to leave without me. (hehehe i'll let you in on a secret: actually i was alr wide awake when she's yelling my name for the fifth time, but i pretended to be asleep to avoid going. readers of this blog should know me & my aunt are 90%loggerheads. and our relationship is kinda like an on-and-off thing). Decided to meet kayla instead cause this JC genius says she's going to tutor me science. Moreover, i haven't been meeting her lately sooooooo :)

oh bright eyes

2011-11-10T01:12:00.002+08:00

Like you don't already know,

christmas' here again!!!!!! Like shhz, im the only one excited 'bout christmas in my small clique of friends dayumm why?!

Caught PA3 today. Hahaha seriously cannot survive horror movies without earpiece. Anw, it was quite ridiculous although there were scary parts. All the thrills but no storyline.

Went to comb nex & vivo after movie, such orhsum time. Days should be spent like this. Thats what makes youth all worthwhile. Kk im enjoying the freedom so much, i dont even feel like heading back to school for sai-yence mcq classes or attend the last Os on the 14th. x___x

burn another bridge, break another heart.

2011-11-05T03:27:00.003+08:00

Have been super lazy to come back to this space for fo'while. I can pretty much say this space is the epitome of dead so i'm here to revive it.

Anw the change of blog skins and all. I've been reading my post from last year due to boredom and uhh just sorta miss nov & dec'10. Everything seems so much genuine then? (k except from the T's incident and btw i just realized how stupid the whole thing becomes *_* but its all in the past so lets just scratch that~~)

I've been going out a lil lesser. My heart feels kinda heavy, i dont really know why either.

But Jan - Mar shall be good! I can feel it in my guts.

2011-10-13T21:03:00.003+08:00

Abrupt conversations with C and M made me realized how much i miss those two.

DOWNFALL OF US ALL.

2011-10-06T00:32:00.001+08:00

QUESTIONABLY MINI HIATUS

Feels weird to go back to school.

Apparently, im classified as anaemic in victoria's eyes cause she says i've been paying no attention to what she's saying throughout the whole final accounts lesson. Dont feel too proud about that information, although it does shed some light to my physical problems and all. Needless to say i feel so accomplishedddddd after tht ^-^ but i still dont really like the subject and STILL finds it pretty much pointless and a wastage of brain cells.

eternal disappointment.

2011-10-04T01:43:00.005+08:00

It just hit me that,

IM GRADUATING NEXT FRIDAY, YAY!

Goodbye to nonsense attempts of trying to raise funds, school rules, shitty faces i dislike. To be frank, the best thing that has happened to me this year has gotta be the step down of CCA LOL. \m/

Joy to the world, graduation iz coming.

Gonna go study with W again today, hopefully God heard my prayers and will make my brain only see one pathway of light which says O LEVELZ at the end of it. Like srsly, if im going to fail, i shall become a drop out and spend my whole life hypnotizing chicken.

Killer migraine, I need to shoot something.

2011-09-20T19:57:00.002+08:00

Tons to update but no time and no energy and maybe even no heart to type it all out.

Recently it's just a whole lot of self-proclaimed holidays/ lacking of moolah (as always)/ starving OR stuffing food/ *__* one direction with wdannne/watching A LOT of paperdolls dance vid/ no sugarcoating with some peeps/ procrastination at its best/ 我死定了.

A toast to being forever young.

2011-09-06T04:45:00.001+08:00

LOL ironic title cause someone's having their birthday today ^^ anyway that stupid girl's gonna get it from me later in the morning cause she made me look like a fool texting her 3 times in a row without any replies back! Yeah and because of her, i picked up paintbrush again and it totally reminded me why i didnt choose Art as a subject, mucho phail. Back to the point, i think twitter really brought the both of us closer. I know i've always been bitching about how social networking sites ruin physical communication between people, but im gonna make an exception for this one. Well, maybe thats only how i see it. She'll probably kill me for spouting nonsense, if i am that is.

But, i do love you. (: And all i want to say will be in the birthday carddd! Have fun reading the page long letter 95% all nonsense i can think of at this timing lol.

Im supposed to be sleeping now cause i have school all early next morning, but i cant seem to doze off at all. I think the worst time to sleep is when you're actually allowed to sleep. Which explains why social studies and science are very nap-able lessons.

Im craving for frozen yogurt & cupcakes but i cantttt cause i still have gifts to wrap and cards waiting for wishes to be filled in. Never should have leave everything to the last minute. Wl, i just never learn.

School in 3hours time!

one of the better days.

2011-09-03T01:30:00.001+08:00

-No peektures from the birthday outing cause K's a pooface & the SD card crashed. >:( Suay die, what have you done tsk.

Can no longer stand this place without pictures. Everybody loves visuals, or at least I do. So yay imma happygirl95 now.

I am really itching to get a camera. Been saying "if only we had DSLR with us right now, this wouldn't be happening" to W almost everytime we go out. I'll give myself another four months. I'll get it latest by the end of this year. Been saying this since 2010. Shall use my own means to save up to a thousand.

Dear anyone it may concern, please don't tempt me to eat like a pig at my favourite places cause I'll go broke at this rate, merci beaucoup.

Sometimes there no such need to sleep that late every night, but its cheap thrills. Lol so tired but im saying no. Wtf forever at war with myself. -_-

Check yes juliet

2011-09-02T02:49:00.001+08:00

Went to the vicinity near SOTA to celebrate the birthday girl's birthday. It was quite terrible in the beginning due to certain people being nearly 2hours late. LOL butbutbut the outing did became muchmuch better when everyone came and our molecules exploded. Didnt order any food and thank god cause i didnt have enough money to order any in the first place. Oh and its damn freaky lor, anyhow walk without GPS also can end up at clarke quay just like that :O fucking accomplishment.

The music was blasting, people were toasting, cameras snapping. For a moment, it felt like the night was never going to end and we would all just live for the moment. No wonder people flock to Clarke Quay, you actually feel like time stops just for you. Hmm, I miss having pictures here so maybe i'll go kope 'em from K's fb.

Note to self : learn how to drive, esp when i live so far from everyone else. Had to take G's car home after that.

Okay bye, not gonna check for errors. Lazy kid is lazy. As always.

FOUR DAYS TO SEPTEMBER

2011-08-28T17:10:00.003+08:00

Home alone with sis as company as i watch the weather throw its weight around. The house is in a mess, nothing in place but im too asdfghjklrt about the impending pizza delivery to neat it all up. Hehe sinful things but dayummm aren't they good.

I have too much time and should be looking for work to do. I have approximately 5hours to kill before Wizard of Waverly Place. Meanwhile, i shall just waste my time wishing that it might rain tonight.

"oh look at me, im gonna go touch the butt~"

oh if only funshion have Chowder, i'd never leave my room.

2011-08-25T17:59:00.000+08:00

2011-08-21T20:00:00.003+08:00

Received a fb message from S and i got a lil shaken at how she handled the whole thing. I mean, i always knew we were different at handling situations like this (im not saying mine is any better, because it usually starts off by 1) me throwing a tantrum 2)hurling insults + making sure that person received double the dosage of shit they've been throwing my way 3)confronting them without giving any second thoughts of the outcome & me acting like some mad ass on the loose) but omg thats just - Wow. That did freaked me out a lil and im kinda turned off by the whole thing. Sorry, but whenever a person tries to control too much or go all "im very disappointed at you/ glad thats how you chose to appreciate us" at me, its like auto repulsion. If you were to ask me frankly, i've been avoiding contact with her just because i don't want to end up having an argument and everything again. I can listen to you go on and go about life's big aspect and give you my two cents worth if you want it. But if in the end nothing is done, just shut up and move on.

Argh, another point to add on to my big pile of "reasons why i hate facebook".

Its the feelings; i think i am inching towards insanity.

2011-08-21T19:51:00.000+08:00

At lan with rach now. Kk whoever's idea it is to make me "distress" by playing jubox, apparently, its NOT working. If you know me well enough, i usually don't even give a second glance to gaming arcade. Waste of money + time, and all you see here is gaming junkie here, ewww so not nice.

Ehhhhhh so hungryyyyyy. God, please grant my tummy perseverance and not let my gastric come after an hour because R just ate. And i prolly told her i dont need to eat. Ahh how nice. Anw, I really hope my dad has left my allowance with my sis cause' i need the money pretty badly since im usually eating out.

HEHE miss Death Cab For Cutie all of a sudden. :)

Time for a post about a whole new issue altogether since i dont think im leaving this place any sooner -- R seems to be having the time of her life right now. lol ?

2011-08-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

If you try a wee bit more, maybe I'll still hold on :)

L'esprit de escalier

2011-08-11T20:49:00.003+08:00

Can't wait to pull through friday.

Have been dreading the arrival of tuition, wl, but rather here than night studies at school. I don't exactly see eye-to-eye with self-studying when you can have someone coaching you at home nicely and not someone who stares at you while you work like you owe the person a million jellybeans and chide you if you make just one unnecessary sound. This is why I'd only like going for night study on Wednesdays and Thursday.

Anw, just remembered smth rach said. She said that students should drink Sunkist orange juice on the morning of our English Os oral so that apparently, we can think faster. She said she swore by it. Then I remembered that during sec1, I used to drink Sunkist orange juice practically everyday during recess. And it didn't make me feel anything but very full and wanting to fall asleep during Math. But of course I didn't say anything to her about her theory being faulty because I am genuinely scared out of my wits of that girl, and since she can argue even better than laine does(which is really saying something), it would've been something like a death sentence. Lol.

Early as it seems, im slightly beaten.

Huge gaping hole.

2011-08-10T13:34:00.004+08:00

Everything feels different. Even the way we talk sounds so nonchalant. Maybe i should just stop trying now? I mean, what would be the point since if its going to go nowhere. Its been too long, too long a silence and its turning permanent at least through your eyes. So i am going to ignore the logical side of me and not bother texting/ calling - let loose ends be left hanging?

----------

one tub of B&J and i shall start on Kinematics.

they dont know we know they know we know.

2011-08-07T22:11:00.004+08:00

- see that yellow soggy-fluffy thing up there? sometimes soon, im gonna take puipui for a walk at the botanic garden. urgh, seriously cannot tahan how flabby her tummy has become.

Here's before i hit the sack, then wake up early in the morning to head to campus and get the oral discussion practice done. Huge bore and ultimate bane of my life. But on the bright side, there's early dismissal. Yay.

It's like I suddenly don't care if I fail my O levels, I just wanna get out of greendale - even if it's only unofficially until Os are over. Kinda sad you know. Especially since my primary and secondary school are so darn close to each other, all clustered at the punggol area. Like how your next door neighbour is next to you if you're living in a HDB. Still remember in sec1 how the fact that I came from edgefield saved my arse cause I suck with new people and since I already knew like at least half of my cohort it made things a lot easier. But now, i can't wait for poly life to hurry up and start already. Have finally come to terms that 2011 isn't my year. Anyway, this is basically what im going through now, the whole wishing this year would just come to an end thing, dont get me wrong, this wasnt caused by the stress from Os. Ikr. Even that didnt stupify/ shocked/ motivate me to really sit down and start mugging now.

I seriously need someone to make me sit down and get started on revising this week. Lack of discipline + resilience = bleak future. -_-

2011-08-05T21:06:00.001+08:00

there's a possibility that i may go back on my word~

shadow in backround of the morgue.

2011-07-29T20:26:00.004+08:00

- Got my ethnic clothing from ziana, & for your info thats taken on racial harmony. Just sayin' yknow, in case some dunce thinks greendale-ians wear that to school everyday. LOL and public mention for jojo lim's spastic/ awkward face in the middle. :D nvm cupcake&vodka still loves you the same.

Kkayz anyway, basically the most important thing i've learnt nowadays is that sometimes, it doesnt pay to tell friends everything. Well, maybe one or two, but overall telling them whats bothering you might not bring you the respond you wanted. It may even make things 10times worse. I'm honestly tired of disappearing or having people MIA on me so yeah fuck it lets just throw all the load on my own shoulders.

Oh and anyhoo, whenever i think someone is all nice and everything, something almost always happens to make me want to change my mind. Stupid ttm manxz, to think that adulthood is just half a decade away, shocking at times.

-----------------------

Am friggin' tempted to go do my collarbone or dye hair red. Lolllll mad already. And the most ridiculous thing is that 2/3 of the people i asked for opinions from said something like "dont go for the permanent, use the sticker!" ohohohohohohohh people from the express stream~ ikr what else should i expect~

Oh, have you heard Valerie by Amy Winehouse? It'll make your morning, or night lol. Saddest truth is that people only get noticed after they've passed on. So its get famous but die, or struggle through your life without getting noticed. Either way, none of the options were pretty. (its not 100% truth but yeah whatevz)

Btw most of my thoughts now lie in twitter http://twitter.com/#!/cupcakeandvodka go follow if you're not one of my follower. That is, if you want to. I mean, why would i force you? :(

i am not copping out.

2011-07-25T21:22:00.003+08:00

I am majorly disorientated now. Went to bed at 11pm. I said "went to bed" not "slept". Insomniaxxxzxzxzxz all the way, it's like im only half asleep the whole time. Torturous x infinity. Think i finally slept for a while before i was woken up by my sis's alarm, but in turn, it woke me up instead.

Ummm received chingping's daily homework text, gonna go drown myself under piles of work now. And my science paper's still 0% done, i am this brilliant.

Oh well, its a pretty boring post, Piss out!

P.S. Omgeee what's with the radio. Move Along then Talking To The Moon consecutively?! Its like they know im tuning in, awesomeawesomeee. (:

major heartthrob.

2011-07-23T12:49:00.002+08:00

People say I sound awfully sad in most of my post, I assure you im fine. My blog has become a place where I vent my frustrations. I do feel happy most of the time, its just too much and sort of too trivial to jot down in bullet points here.

Need to watch how i spend money. My entire allowance is all gone now and i dont know what did to it. Didn't really get any new clothes and stuff which means i must have spent it all on food, movies & starbucks. This is not good.

Anyhoo, on to more light stuff, went to watch transformers 3 with jojo lim yesterday, and honestly, its a no go. Perhaps i've been waiting for it to be over asap cause im dying to go to the bathroom. Side tracking a little : Gosh, some bird just flew into the room and gave me a 2second heart attack. Laine did the honors of chasing it out. What will i do without her. Speaking of it, am currently at laine's place right now. (: Came over last night for dinner then an impromptu decision to just sleep over here. Hurray, i heart free dinner lollllll.

This canvas is so empty right now.

Till more photos!

Love,

2011-07-20T22:11:00.002+08:00

Alas~ the joy of rediscovering a song you used to love. Still does.

2011-07-17T22:36:00.001+08:00

why can i open up to someone i just met, but never people i've known my whole life?

and the more i open up, the more uncomfortable i become.

Meaningless words coming out of your very lips in the form of empty promises.

2011-07-17T22:14:00.002+08:00

Weather's pretty nice these few days, sky was overcast with clouds and the air felt like a warm bath. Pray hard that tmrw would be the same so i won't mind a tad bit about going to school. :)

Came to dawdle my time away.

Was sitting beside a group of indian family just now, overhearing their conversation about that boy being cane because he spit in another girl's eyes and his brother urging their mum to send him to boy's home lol. One of the rare instance, where you'll hear some indian boy going "cb ah! knncbbbbbbbb!" LOLOLLLL. Kk at least it's a rare sight to me, since indian boys in our class aren't really those hokkien-pai.

-----

Haven't eaten for 19hours, walao this is baddddd. But the feeling of starvation kinda brings you satisfaction. Omg what am i talking about, food brings me happiness. Alright, time for supper, that is if theres any leftovers around at home.

Two days, two nights, no sleep, no food, come down off the monster, you crash real hard.

2011-07-12T22:19:00.003+08:00

Mindfuck.

Having a fucking shitload of thoughts in my head now even though i know absolutely nothing good can ever come out of overthink thoughts.

1) I feel that this thing between us is kinda going nowhere, and worst of all? No one is doing anything because i can't tap into your head & i honestly can't be bothered to go through with the whole "come, sit down, lets talk everything out for once" cycle again. Its mentally & physically draining.

2) Why does it feel like my life is in a mess.

3) I think i officially have something against D. You think you have issues with your parents? You have issues with your friends? If they all mattered, you'd at least make it a point to sit down and talk to them about it instead of avoiding the subject altogether and that they'd understand at the end of the day. Argh i dont even comprehend why im bothering to digress this now.

4) I have to complete some frigging nonsense crap in a few hours time and currently am exhausted as fuck and J chooses this timing to text me. :l Hmm not a very wise moment to strike conversation my dear.

5) Need a break from everything. Funny, how there isn't exactly much going on in my life yet I still feel like I really need one.

6) Dad is still giving me the silent treatment ever since he found cigarette boxes in my room. Apparently, my aunt lost it a lil when she found out about this, add on with the previous two strikes i already imprinted on her, even dumbass can sense that this is going to be the last straw. She wanted my lao ba to take away my allowance/ my freedom/ internet connection. Lol wtf. Yeahhhhh and D thinks he has issues with his parents. (facepalm) So ridiculous cause i SWEAR i don't smell like some fucking ashtray.

7) Basically, my aunt and I are barely on compromising levels. The past two weeks (or more, my memory isn't one of the greatest) have shown/ reflected my personality at its worst. Being rude, quarreling over trivial things that doesnt even matter, swearing and cussing, being selfish, pissy, not thinking of the big picture, speaking before thinking, being a spoil brat, everything. Well at least i tried to understand?! People who know me in real life will already know, my aunt and I are 99% loggerheads. So thats no surprise.

8) And if you've known me long enough, you'll probably know that i. never. learn. Frankly i dont know if thats stubborn or what.

9) idk why am i still typing this out when im rushing for deadline -_-

Can't write what's on my mind right now cause you're all judgmental fuckers.

2011-07-10T22:24:00.003+08:00

Not gone, just really busy.

I miss 9th of July already, so so awesome. >:( will blog about it next time, cause I still have my physics tys 2010 to pia.

It's Monday in one and a half hour time. (N)

Numb is the new high.

2011-07-04T11:32:00.004+08:00

Dad's taking a day off work today which means hooray for homecooked meals!! Haven't tasted homecooked food for so darn longggggg. Funny thing is people always thought i get those meals a lot since my dad's a chef. Contrary. He's been cooking all day, tell him to prepare a decent meal at home actually equates to putting his life in danger.

So last night i found out 2 more of my followers on T actually knows me in real life. Practically turns me off from the whole tumblr scene. Its turning into a trend now and i no longer get the whole "secret hideout" feeling from it anymore. Honestly i really think i should just stop anyway because its doing no good to my grades, my body clock and looking back at the time i've spent on it is like !@#$%^&*^@!?/ Oh and i keep ignoring my texts/ friends at times because im too engrossed in T. Omg its like a drug.

----

Ehhhh change of plans, needa go get ready now cause that dumbybimbo actually mixed up her tuition timing. Gonna go catch Transformers, hahahah, bye!

LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH I NEED TO PUT PICTURES.

2011-07-02T09:26:00.002+08:00

Me happy pills of this sem.

Don't blink. They won't even miss you at all.

2011-06-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

MT 'O' Orals tmrw. (any chances if ZN managed to stumble upon this, YES, im taking my Os you douchebag. Pfft WHERE ARE YOU :l if we were to reverse the clock and go all the way back to dont-know-how-many-donkey-years ago, funny how we ever vowed to never separate, PSLE & Os together. and look, we're all going different ways now. Distant. Kk this is getting cheesy so im going to stop here.)

Burghh, I have to get up at usual 6 in the morning to drag my sorry arse to school tmr when others are going hougang stadium for sports carnival or staying at the comfort of their homes wtf. -_- Imagine the empty & void corridors. Frigging hell la. The only perk about it is that i can finally get this over and done with, and dad is actually bribing me to go. (He said something about not having seen any of his kids getting a decent cert ==) Soooo.. you get the point. Plus, i get to meet YQ at the usual cafe after multiple eras, yay!

PS:

*Saved 10bucks so far. At this rate, i think i need another 2more months in order to finish clearing mai debts. @@

Jamjars

2011-06-30T20:00:00.000+08:00

would starve for a solid whole year for plane tickets to meet him, just sayin'.

Pot. Love the smoke but hate where it came from.

2011-06-21T00:56:00.008+08:00

Currently watching Chatroom and that movie have such bongtodading story line lol.

Things i have to/ should do:

1) Buck up

2) Start getting better grades by bothering to do hmk/ revise and such. Haven't touched a single thing and school reopens in 6days, i can already imagine how jiaen/ nicole/ kayla would karate chop me.

3) Save up cause im still. broke. been going out so many times that im drowning in my own pile of debts. and i really really really wanna go to that theatre film with babyyy when the ninth of july hits.

4) Get stamina. On a second thought, scratch that, i shall fail napfa for 7years in a row.

5) Finish Misfits and Season3 of Skins.

6) Stay FOCUS.

7) Stop breaking my oath of cutting down on sugar. Backtracking a little, i've always been told of i gobble sugah way too fast and way too much and its not doing me any gud.

Two in the morning and im hungry. @@

Went a tad too crazy over the mashpotato just now. Omg, the thought of it makes me want to run back to popeyes.

Nuggetsnuggets, they're everywhereeeee.

2011-06-21T00:12:00.004+08:00

I am beginning to act like one of those pessimist that just goes around asking people their reason for living and trying to get the whole "there's-simply-no-point-in-living" ideas tapped into their head. Yeer like those emo junkie, so not nice. >:(

Anyway, should try to embrace my month worth of break which has already miraculously shrink to a pathetic state of six more days. Furthermore, im having morning class from tmrw onwards. #mentalblock. I feel like the days are just fluttering by. Loathe school and detest the fact that we still have four more months to go.

Its smack right in the middle of the night and here i am again resorting to the cyber world instead of being deep in slumber. Topping it off with the cherry, i have school in exactly seven hours? Wts yeeeeaaaah.

No pictures 'cause photobucket is so adjqfbwbfwb right now. :@ An hour spent on this post due to constant sidetracking. What is new.

2011-06-19T19:50:00.001+08:00

And now i watch your life in pictures.

2011-06-14T12:20:00.005+08:00

Guess i finally paid the price for being unbelievably distracted since term 1. A less firm grip on the cutter sent the blade across the tip of my thumb. :( One of the instances where you'll hear me let out a WTF. A burst of crimson red came underneath the flap of flesh (i thought i was going to die due to excessive bleeding). Dramatic as usual. Moreover, now i look like a physical disable retard while texting.

Went to one of the playgrounds at PSR Park and played swings for awhile. No kick lor. Plus there was no AJM for me to compete with or mock at the funny stunts i tried to pull. I know it feels like we've drifted since this year commenced, but i still love you the same and i can't wait to meet you tommorrowww! :D (do remember to bring mai hoodie kk)

Newayz. Talked to laine for awhile, then she said I ignored her (suddenly felt like singing Every Breathe You Take, I swear I didn't hear her talk to me) and emoed all the way back to my place. :(

I feel so hollow because today is such a beautiful day for swimming.

ushafhahfsjwbv x infinity.

yofag.

2011-06-12T17:30:00.004+08:00

Something pretty epic happened today. D's phone was blasting music all the way through the bus ride and i wasn't paying any attention to what was playing. Out of all the 400++ songs, "i just had sex" HAD to came on next during the shuffle. -_- And then this mother along with her son came over and literally gave us a mouthful. In the midst of her chiding, the son was making funny faces behind his mother's back. Lolll mucho wtf?

This post alone would not be able to do justice to the craziness of the situation.

Anyway, am now camping inside the room with my relative's 18months old baby son. The reason why i am calling him "relative" its because i have no clue what to call him - since young. BACK TO THE POINT, its damn quiet here, and frankly, its the first time i've ever felt so peaceful with that baby. (the 4th dao-est person i've ever knew lol) Btw belle! guess who remains at the top of my list! :D

Kkz, i seriously have the attention span of a squirrel. P.S. background info : i've always believed that babies are ought to be chuck outta the window. Well.. probably because he's studying the dirty-old-ragged-piglet and thus the lack exchange of cries.

Off to watch Pair of kings (and maybe clean up my room)~ byeeee.

watching you watching me watching you.

2011-06-10T00:21:00.000+08:00

Just came to a realization, i kinda miss last Nov although the ending of Oct-beginning of Nov felt like a huge stab. Some pain i'd carried around (yes, i brought it upon myself) for a solid two weeks i suppose? The secular world. Once you open up to it, it gushes into you and doesnt stop until its done messing with you inside out whether you like it or not.

The most minuscule of an insecurity can really end up as a full blown mindfuck. esp for girls. We've become so accustomed to everything in our lives, that we dont know if thats what we want anymore. So numb to the idea of change. So delusional to grasp.

Kk, so here it is. No backspacing, just pure ranting.

Queer, how most people often choose to come and just throw that question at me. "why aren't the both of you on talking terms?" and one thing i hate hearing the most "why are you giving her the cold shoulder?" Seriously? Do you guys care? People question mainly because they're curious. Frankly, out of all the people who asked, i can only sense that one is genuinely worried.

These ignorant outsiders.

You guys really think you know the current situation we're facing right now huh? How about rewinding back to the time when i honestly did do what i can to make this thing workout? I had to put up with your rollercoaster emotions, take caution of every single little thing i do, what i say because you get all butthurt easily. Despite all the efforts, you don't show like you care and im not a mind reader. So tireddddddddddddd of holding on to this thread that im not ready to cut off just yet. But its close now. Every friendship has its time frame and it looks like ours is nearly coming to an end. Somehow throughout all the bullshit since Jan, im losing trust. In you. Exhausted, and i think i don't wanna be a part of this anymore, and this time im going to make the cut as clean as possible. Sorry is this is turning off track. But it was fun while the whole facade lasted, now that the mask's off, its time to face the music - and reality.

Stung, yes. Hurt, no. Surprisingly.

All that these people are looking at is only the surface. There are many times when people are giving false assumptions, so ridiculous i feel like slapping them. Worst of all, there're no one i can vent this to. Which makes me all the more frustrated.

The sentence's horribly structured and the gist of it is unacceptable. I am appalled by my ingenuity, in other words, the extent of crap I can churn out in wee hours.

"Things changing so skorry these days, and people very quickly to forget"

2011-06-06T16:07:00.006+08:00

What i've been up to.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something that the most of you don't know.

Very suddenly, i was compelled to belt this all out.

Lets be frank here, if you add up everything my friend and I have taken without permission, it would amount to approximately more than $2000. And reasons? Because we can't be bothered paying + the great adrenaline rush. (Srsly if the MacBooks aren't tied up like crazy, I think i'd would have at least 10 of them at home already).

I need to get off my chest, that cardi frm F21 and bag frm CO is a special case, SO DONT GET WORKED UP. My time is precious and im not going to waste it on waiting for a line which is longer than the wall of china. Moreover, its F21 to boot. Whatevz.

this eye contact thing is blinding.

2011-06-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

Hello darlingxzxzxz, today's such a nice day to do important things -- like get married haha. Okay, we should choose a nice day like this next time!

Today's the day when the devil's holy supernatural power came down and touched us and gave us an inner revival and a heart for the people. Betcha have no idea what i just said. But no worries, cause i dont really understand too. :)

Discursive essay will be due tmrw, at the same time the barfday gift's not completed yet. Who knows after chinese Os the workload's still as heavy.

2011-05-30T21:26:00.001+08:00

TODAY THIS BLOGGER

2011-05-29T20:52:00.001+08:00

IS DEPRESSED AND NEEDS LOVE AND WHATNOT.

At least 6 more months. How perfectly intolerable.

2011-05-28T18:27:00.003+08:00

Piss-y. Cause I just refreshed my twitter 2million times last night at 2.30am in order to get logged in. And then my blogger won't work. >:( in a nutshell, I stayed up almost all night just to click on the "refresh page" and "sign in" button. Pfft.

Anywho, I need some updates but don't have the picture which is a bullet to the mood. Os will be done with next Monday (which is about 2days away) so by then I fink I'll have all the peektures I need. And life. Yes my life back. Yay (wave imaginary pompoms) lol.

As for now,

I shall rant about how social networking sites are taking over physical connections among human creatures, and how extremely annoying it has been whenever I see a certain somebody commenting on another's statues. "striking up a conversation", thinking they have been bonding by exchanging pleasantries, when in reality, they just walk past each other almost everyday in school without even saying hi. Practically like strangers. Wth, does the "chatting" on facebook really brings you closer? When everyone graduates from high school moving on to poly, would she be the one you'll be still keeping in touch with? Yes maybe on fb when everybody writes "happy birthday" on her wall, but what if someday she decides to deactivate it? What other source on means would you still have to make an effort to keep in touch? I bet you don't even have her digits. Betcha won't even be meeting once after O levels are done with.

It's absurd.

2011-05-21T10:08:00.001+08:00

It just dawned upon me that my bad sense of direction shouldnt be applied to choices in life.

Gonna set off now, can't stay in my house a minute longer. bye.

some friends aren't even friends.

2011-05-20T21:49:00.003+08:00

The "annoyed" kinda struck me just now. It kept hovering between thoughts.

Feel a bit stumped. Because i really dont know how to help people around me besides grabbing both their shoulders and giving 'em a good shake. Felt like pits when i have zilch clue on what to say to 'em during situation like this. >:(

----------

Whats the point of saying "almost". Its as good as never. Except it made you realize you were once so close but everything just slips by.

At least i updated.

At war with the world.

2011-05-17T19:40:00.005+08:00

OHAI.

Lol no idea how to start this post cause im watching that guy from the 9 o'clock show committing suicide by drowning himself right now. :l

"You only live once"

and then again, "only the young die good"

hah, whatevz.

Yours truly shall began with yesterday's events.

Went to catch water for elephants with XMS last night. Then spent $10 on potatoes & it shall be the stupid-est decision i have ever made. Honestly buttered popcorn is much better than processed starch. >:( ikr.

Then it made me ponder over the name "Robert" again. Why would parents ever name their child Robert? In singapore its pure creepy. Robert seems like those uncle at kopitiam betting on taigi lor, or those practising qi gong over at the park. Lol procreating someone named Robert, very noble of you guys indeed. Didn't mean to sound so cynical but yeah, do yourself a favour and don't ever name your kids something like "manfart" or stuff lmao.

Today.

Went to aid LYQ with her chai-nese today > witness so many peeps waiting in line to get their half priced coffee > i think rach was right when she said now's the season of Vans, everybody's jumping onto the bandwagon proclaiming their affection for that brand > don't know how im going to survive MT intensive tmrw when im in the mood to mourn. @@

lackadaisical.

2011-05-12T18:59:00.000+08:00

Haven't posted for a while, largely because this week has been really dry and ordinary, theres not much to speak of. All these redundant mye. Just look at the world, riddled with all its sickness and conflict. Leading a decent life is already a stroke of luck on our part.

Still at sqaure one for the birthday gift im coming up for JE cause im unable to generate anything BOOMPOW enough to blow a feather away. Everything's still stale. >:( No creativity la ley hor.

I shall end this with an out-of-the-blue-conversation with CJY long time ago.

JY: diedie, i wanna go toilet!

Meh: shoot everywhere la :D

LOL, it comes handy when your friends are complaining/ whining on needing to go to toilet but there isn't one anywhere near you and you start teasing them on doing it publicly.

(instead standing ovation here)

look at us, planning for the bleak future :D

2011-05-06T22:23:00.002+08:00

I think everyone knows those days where you wake up feeling really crap only to get reminded there's mid year exam in an hours' time. You end up going to school feeling as melancholic as ever. All day there's been this numb and stressing pain at the left side of the neck and worst of all, gastric suddenly worked up in the midst of the math paper. Before the start of the social studies paper, the subject teacher came to give you a wink, somehow hinting as if there's faith that you'll do better than the previous test when the truth is you haven't studied a single shit for it. Pinned hopes are going to be dashed. At the end of school, you'll have to rush off in order not to get caught in the situation where everything just turns into an awkward journey home.

It feels really queer but then everything just turns around abruptly. WELL, it only takes one single person for everything to be alright again, the sole saviour shall know who im referring to so i'll end this ~~stanza~~ para before everything gets too corny. :l

Have to start planning the surprise birthday crap real soon. Hate making decisions on things because im extremly fickle minded, while normal people break rules and regulations, i'll be breaking plans. Actually i dont know what im getting so worked up over either.

chocolate and vodka.

2011-04-29T20:27:00.005+08:00

Things to do :

1) Eat.

2) Make laine cry and mock her for watching roomate.

3) Say cokacola without touching lips.

4) Stop playing the cokacola prank -- everyone knows that your lips don't touch when saying cokacola.

5) Think of something to fill up #5.

6) Go fill up my wardrobe.

7) Eat.

miserable at best.

2011-04-24T21:02:00.005+08:00

Can't remember what i did from mon-thurs last week. But finally went to collect my tubs of B&J on friday though two tubs are all done by now hmm. Anyway, am proud to say that i was sober by the time i left skcc today. -grins- K la, felt super high when we left though i didnt show any expression on mai face. Yo.

I cant wait to get my hands on How To Be An Explorer Of The World & that pair of Toms. Its so much awesomer in real life. And frankly, its boring to see everyone pretty-much-kinda wearing Vans now.

Rodrick rules, fo' real.

2011-04-17T21:08:00.007+08:00

Honours' day (that orchestra i thought i would never miss).

*To the kids of africa

JL actually threw leftovers into orange juice that im still drinking ): LOLOLOL. Its cool hanging with her cause when one of us gets really high, the other one's bound to catch onto the craziness and in the end you'd just get 2 really noisy girls laughing at basically everything. There's still more (peektures) but those close-up ones are so friggin horrendous i don't even want to greyshade it. -_-

Well the weather is mad hot today, esp in the afternoon when i was wishfully hoping i would finish my gong han in less than a hour, worst of all, theres no space in the air conditioned cafe so i had to sit outside. == You can imagine how many potential customers they lost this afternoon because of people like me who hogged a table for nearly four hours.

Susurrous voices.

2011-04-13T19:31:00.003+08:00

So so stupid.
Spent so manymany time and effort building bridges but all destroyed due to third parties' interference. Tore down the walls, only having the need to build them all up again. wtf right?

I miss my friends -- those who already knew enough about me so i don't have the need to explain myself all over again. Not saying that the people i've been hanging out with aren't great or anything (in fact, they're awesomeee! reallyreally do). Its just that i need a mini breather from that scene. With all the pent up stress at school and such. Im seriously at an all time low right now. I am hanging by a thread. I know i know, its because i've been spending less time with so and so but the positive side of this situation is when one door closes, there's another one opened for you.

I wish NL, ZN, MS or HR was here with me right now.

misfits.

2011-04-05T19:17:00.009+08:00

somebunny loves you.

forever etched into skin until the whole world caves in.

2011-04-01T22:02:00.006+08:00

(overdue peeks).

@Wardaniah-sayshey! came to foil my april fools peace. Still can't believe how i fell for that. So so retarded. Pfft.

Need to get started on TJR's pwesent now, which i (apparently) still have no brilliant idea on what to get her. Usually stuffs like this just come right to me, ehhh must be the lack of 10hours sleep. :l Its not doing me any good.

Oh, and AJM told me about the new pokka strawberry tea and laine fink i went a tad too crazy. If she thinks im hysterical, wait till she sees my reaction after taking sip out of the CaramelFrappe i'll be taking tmrw~

Dead man walking.

2011-03-31T22:48:00.004+08:00

Hi.

I cant concentrate because there's a stupid living moth 2cm away from landing on the desk. Ahhhhhhhh omgomgomg it just landed it just landeddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#flabbergasted. Anywayyyy,

today i witnessed how people starts getting guilty (because they've done something bad unintentionally to another person) so they start treating the other person like royalty. Literally lol.

Story cut short : always always make humans feel guilty so you get free slaves 'cause their conscience will eat 'em alive!! >:) Ohgay.

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Gonna throw my entire weekend into non-stop prancing around ~ Already having second thoughts about the saturday duty 'cause its 9hours long. Butbutbut at least it's being spent with someone worthwhile, nuff said.

All the world's a stage.

2011-03-28T21:45:00.003+08:00

We're all neck-deep and struggling.

Sometimes i dont really know if being so protected all the time's good or bad. It leaves me wanting something a little different, but then i look again, i dont think i will ever want to go through what i've gone through all over again.

There's a need to update this space more often. Idk its like an instinct. I've pretty much lost all my ability to type out a day's schedule but i'll tryyyyy :

Been trying to clear my 100hours of CIP recently, hence the library trips i'll be making in the foreseeable future. I don't think i've ever recited the alphabet song this much in a day before and the number of times i've bent up and down are numerous. Funny how Y is all hyped up about the crew lanyard oh and this is going to sound really ridiculous but i just had my first cup of JavaChip with N!! Its amusing how im hooked onto one of the things i ~~abhorred~~ try my best to stay away from in the past. Ask anyone who knows, i can go on and on to a person just telling them the cons of caffeine.

Humans. We're all such contradictory creatures.

Friends are like potatoes. :>

2011-03-25T22:55:00.001+08:00

Blended beginnnings, pureed endings.

2011-03-25T21:30:00.008+08:00

Just in case you weren't a friend of mine on fb, or purely for the fact you weren't invited to view the album heheh >:) ~ suckaz. (LOL keeding, these haven't really been uploaded because im having tons of issue with my phone/ photobucket/ laptop. Wtf with technology these days.)

I've caught this movie like 10000000000times, still ever so (Y)

Photos aren't in any particular order. Haven't been posting for eons cause i've been waiting for myself to upload the pictures onto the com first or else I would have nothing to write about. Nothing good in my life - nothing new, no one who inspires me, no sadness, no rant, no nothing. The canvas is empty because I am not intrigued.

Im here in the first place to take my mind off the results -- 5strokes (the unlined grades). I know i totally deserve results like this with the constant slacking but stillllll >:l On the positive note, i got my first ace for math. One A1 and five E8. I feel super inferior being compared to my lil sis who looks like an (:O***** next to me. See how mega shiny the halo is.

Solemnly swear that i can continue to blabber on and on about the trivial-est matters in life but saddly i have physic practical class tomorrow. Ikr school on a saturday! It should be illegal.

2011-03-22T21:36:00.002+08:00

sobrightitsinsane

2011-03-16T19:25:00.003+08:00

WHEN HELPING YOUR FRIEND GET OVER A BREAK UP :

- Do not tell her that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

(She'll be a smartass, then say "BUT I DONT WANT A FISH. I WANT HIM. I WANT HIM BACK. WAHHHHHH". Then you're a socially awkward penguin).

- Do not tell her that he was stupid for leaving her.

(she'll be a smartass, she'll say "I WAS STUPID FOR LOVING HIM. WAHHHHH". Then you're again, socially awkward penguin).

- Do not tell her that he didnt deserve her, and that she was too good.

(She'll be a smartass, she'll say, "IF IM SO GOOD, WHY DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME. WAHHHHH". Then you're socially awkward penguin).

- What you do is, you say, "BITCH. GTFU. WE'RE GOING TO WAL-MART. WE ARE BUYING A GALLON OF ICE CREAM FOR YOUR MOPEY ASS, AND YOU'RE GOING TO CRY. ALL FUCKING NIGHT. YOU WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW MORNING. WE ARE BURNING ALL OF HIS SHIT. WE'LL GO SHOPPING, AND BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BITCHES ON THE PLANET. (she cant be a smartass, and you are no longer caught in a socially awkward situation. You are not a penguin, you are practically jesus.)

2011-03-13T10:56:00.001+08:00

Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication.

2011-03-13T09:21:00.004+08:00

"Is this really what I want?"
"Is this really what YOU want?"

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Back from nomadic race on friday.

I'd say i really learnt a lot and everything, yeah, those corny and cliche stuff. Anyway, camp was really supsoup! It literally turned my mindset and heart like a hundred and eighty degrees. But no peektures cause jojo lim didn't upload them on fb and i dont know whyyyyy~

I have nothing else to say to you now, be gone.

like roses, we blossom then die.

2011-03-07T19:15:00.005+08:00

My total cab fare over a span of three days just exceeded fifty bucks. What can i infer from this.

Well there was pictures. But yeah, i think its in the possession of some lonely guy who likes to wear size5 rollerblade now. Fucking wanker. -_-

Part of me is still resisting against sixteenity, omg its bringing out the extreme kiddyness in mahahaa. But the thought of being able to purchase nc16 movie tickets is purely awesome. Thanks to all the card made, if you're reading this, i really appreciate whatever you guys wrote in there. I'll end this before it gets too mushy for you all to handle. :D

P.S. Will be back on friday, having camp + motivational talk at school this week mehhhhh.

Life? I dont have one.

2011-03-02T22:43:00.004+08:00

Its only 11.09pm and i can't think -_- Its a wonder why J still insist that im nocturnal, lol the sentence ajar with the facts.

The only thing im posting this is purely for the fact that this blog doesn't daiiiii. I don't mean to whine but really, schedule's been really hectic. 4days per week for cca, remedial on a saturday MIND YOU. Sometimes i feel like i dont have the time for anything else besides schoolwork. Okay im sorry, that was MAJOR whiny :(

But nvm, i know what im doing. 9hours of sleep per day is never too much! Hurhurrrr. And i'll be meeting SS2E6 once again during the weekends. Update more next time byeeeeeee.

Find out too much about a person and you lose interest.

2011-02-25T20:27:00.005+08:00

Well i finally understand what this whole season will be about. Not that it has officially ended but that gotta mean something. Not doing badly, but not exactly THAT great. Yeah, i guess thats how you'd put it.

I hate how you're treating me like how you did to her, or how in your eyes im just another one. Its like a vicious cycle. I hate how i decided to backslide. I hate how people who genuinely care are worrying. I hate how i lowered myself all over again to this state. I hate how often i feel like spilling out everything to you and yet i recall how you'd prolly react because well.. "every friend just ain't good enough". Nobody gets it.

2011-02-25T20:19:00.003+08:00

Not officially legal.

I couldn't watch rabbit hole last weekend because my birthday isn't over >:( Tried to get in but the lady at the counter was like "uh how old are you?" I said sixteen and she asked for my identity card.

"Eh your birthday has to be today ley (20feb)"

I thought the year i was born was the deciding factor but no. I. Am. Not. Sixteen.

Like fakkkkk.

Procrastination at its finest.

2011-02-17T21:58:00.002+08:00

Today marks the end of another chapter i screwed up. This is the third consecutive chapter thats gone awry. Okayokay, next monday, it will be a clean state and i'll start all over once more.

Hate that i keep putting off projects. I think im gonna look hella pathetic in the midst of my brilliant classmates. Did i mention how shitty the social studies supposedly "clay model" are? They're like some primary kids' work, i cant stand reading the write-up. How to submit like thattttt?

Its official. My favourite time in school now is during orchestra. Yes. This is actually coming from someone who is capable of a 0/8 attendance.

I will sleep when i am dead.

2011-02-10T22:55:00.002+08:00

Its weird cause i have a sudden fetish for cats. And the things running through my mind during classes are so queer lol. I think im almost half insane.

Having jogathon tmrw. Haha please don't let me die half way cause its the only year that im actually having the sort-of will power to really run. :/ Pray i don't faint.

Can you pay my billlsssss?

how am i going to survive for the next three days? D:

2011-02-07T16:18:00.004+08:00

Its seven thirty in the morning, the street is composed of that common dreadful monotonous grey, well what the hell, its Monday.

2011-02-05T21:50:00.001+08:00

If you miss me. You can't text, you can't email, you can't post it on my facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.

-Ashton kutcher/ No strings attached

Film's coming up on 17feb ;)

Intoxicated with the madness

2011-02-05T21:08:00.004+08:00

Sums up my cny.

Met up with deb this morning. Food was decent, and the company priceless. Party with her crazy famlee. Okay, obviously we got a complain cause it was like 9am-ish and the people living beside her are malays so... oh yeah, its probably the last time we are meeting up for this year. ):

Theres more ofcourse, but 2.5hours of sleep does affect your thinking skills. I literally can't think of any other words to say to you.

Side note : I miss JY's super sweet coffee she whips up at ikea.

Bye. Late night movie D: its quite sad actually. K maybe i'll bail.

I will sleep when i am dead.

2011-02-03T04:28:00.005+08:00

Today's dread turned out awesome. (;

4.46am now.

Im REALLY REALLY hungry. But K & J just ate a really short while ago, so im gonna have to keep quiet for at least an hour.

Oh god. Please don't let my gastric come till after 6am.

Haha, this is getting retarded. Byeeeeeeeeee.

I should shoot someone 'cos its illegal.

2011-02-01T17:47:00.001+08:00

Well, my day was ruined.

I've been better, how are you?

Cold. It's like i need winter clothings to get by.

2011-01-31T18:48:00.005+08:00

Fickle. Yes. Haha i reactivated my fb for just 5mins and i found my reason to deactivate it again. Lol. Its probably the same reason why i deleted my twitter and my tagboard as well. Its like cutting off all cyber communications with people. ;) Well.. as for people that matters, we don't need social networking sites to bond yo! Haha actually, it isn't the main reason but i don't think you're interested to know anyway.

This may seems a bit random, especially when this year has only barely begun. Can't believe that sarah is now opting for murdoch uni when it seems like yesterday that she's complaining that her poly life sucks.

Well.. when i saw the sec1s, it reminded me so much of my ~~first~~ third week in school. It seems surreal how quickly 3years has passed. I mean, i wouldn't say that it flew by because some of it was torturous in some aspects, but yay, i survived. Its pretty amazing. The sec1s have no idea whats in store for them. Last year of my uniform school life. I guess. Unless i had to repeat sec4 or i enter ITE choiiii.

Need more pictures, see, so wordy.

I forgot to drop by HMV last friday when i went to somerset. Really really stupid. But yeah, that day was good tho'. I had my first marche bread. :D Finished the whole loaf in the short span of 3hours. Later that night was meet-the-parents-session at school. Frankly, its the best meet-the-parents i ever had since P1. Who knows running around in ties can be so much fun lol.

Haven't felt so happy and at ease for sucha long time.

Weekend was pretty much a blast. Movie + food + tons of shopping + and i helped out daddy to pick out newyear stocks last night. Do come to crash at my place kk!!

People know things but they keep quiet about it.

2011-01-25T20:43:00.006+08:00

My workload's still as heavy as ever. I am really fretting now cause i only have few hours left to come up with the plan but my brain feels empty. I really really don't know what to do. Okay whatever, going to sleep first. May i wake up feeling bright and brilliant!

If you are not content with what you have. You would not be satisfied if it were DOUBLED.

2011-01-23T22:07:00.004+08:00

Why long hair could be a dread sometimes : A compilation of peeves by Vivien Lee.

1) Interference. Its always getting into my mouth. And into my food. It get stuck and tangled to buttons and zips. Sure it gets handy if im trying to hide from crazy relatives/ acquaintance, but really, a lot of time my vision seems to have curtains at the side that wont stay in place.

2) It whips back and forth. When i walk it goes back to my bed-head. Esp when we the wind kept blowing and my hair would rise up like Medusa's snakes.

3) High maintenance. I need to wash it all the time. Sometimes if i don't get to wash my hair for a day, my mood drops like crazy. Also, i need to brush it like a zillion times and scrub like mad to avoid having dandruff.

4) If you collect all the hair thats been dropping, i think you can knit a sweater out of it. The rate of hair drops on the floor per day is way past your imagination. You can find a strains of hair EVERYWHERE. Bag pack, inside your clothes, dangling by your hand, on the toilet seats etc. -_-

One of the few convenient things about it : I can hit people with it.

a massacre.

2011-01-23T11:06:00.004+08:00

Asshole was late for 1.5hour yesterday, so figured i might as well take my own sweet time. Stayed in platform for hour straight, yes, the long trainy journey. Didn't really want to leave Times any later cause i wanted to avoid the crowd very badly, i really loathe catching a train with many squeezy people in it. At least it wasn't too shabby. ;)

I am supposed to be finishing my project by today. Supposed to. But i end up talking to M on MSN. Haha.

Nvm, i'll do my work at kfc later. It only works when im alone in an air conditioned place with food and background music. I hope they'll be tuning into 987fm today.

Don't be afraid to say hi if you're dropping by there also kk!! :D

are you catching my drift yet

2011-01-21T21:19:00.004+08:00

I feel like i haven't gotten anything right ever since 2011 commenced. Its like problems after problems. Sucks more when the person you confine your problems to becomes your problem. K i just said 'problems' four times.

I feel so demoralised. IM GOING TO FAIL POA ): also known as the subject which i never fail because its quite impossible to fail unless you reallyyyyy hate it.

Which i dont.

Honestly, in order for me to pass my subj, i need my laptop & phone to burn in hell.